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<< previous pAsuram – 27 – sengAla mada nArAy
nammAzhvAr in the thiruvAimozhi of “vaigal pUngazhivAy [thiruvAimozhi – 6.1]” had sent birds to emperumAn as messengers, and since that did not get emperumAn to show up, he became angry due to overwhelming love (praNaya rOsham) towards Him, and hence in the next thiruvAimozhi of “minnidai madavAr [thiruvAimozhi – 6.2]”, she closed the door on Him saying “pOgu nambi” (leave me alone), thus showing his love-quarrel towards Him. Thirumangai AzhvAr also sent messengers earlier, and is now showing love-quarrel.
The next state after sending messenger due to sadness of separation, is the state of having anger out of love. Like how one would get their mind cleared upon hearing a loud thunder when immersed in anger, she also got a clarity in her mind. So she determined that since she is suffering from separation, and hence sent messengers, and now good signs are also visible, His coming here would not fail. And she thought for sure that if He came, then she would not show her face to him / not welcome Him.
Reason for that is – His next union would end in separation only; so instead of that, it is better to not welcome Him, but die in front of Him and thus escape from the suffering due to separations – is her thought. Like how someone who has decided to die would eat betel leaves, wear flowers, and laugh, etc., acting normal on the outside, she too was looking well while suffering inside. Her friend who saw this, thought what could be the reason for her to look well when seen, while suffering inside due to anger based on love. She asks “What is it you are thinking in your mind?”. She replies, “If He comes I won’t interact with Him like before. I have strongly decided to die in front of Him itself”.
To that her friend thought, “Oh fool! Are there wrestlers who fight against a mountain? Would you, who do not have any strength, be able fight against Him who is the lord of both the worlds, fully able, and is like an elephant that is equal to a mountain?”. So she strongly decided that she should somehow prevent her from dying. But the friend had anger more towards emperumAn than she had towards him.
So she said, “There is use in having union with lover having affection. There is no point in having union with lords”. She replies, “You are going to see for yourself about the trouble His lordship and His leadership of both the worlds are going to go through in my hands”.
Her friend thought, “Oh she is being very staunch, and looks like she might die. So I should save her such that she would be one who is stopped at the state of anger due to love, and not one who reached the stage of dying”. So she said, “Not being punctual to His devotees is His habit”.
She replies in this pAsuram, “Like you say, His love is all for a show on the outside only; I cannot stay alive”.
It fits for her to be angry towards her lover; is it apt for her friend also to be angry at emperumAn? SrI vAlmIki BhagavAn, who is not interested in any worldly affairs, who eats dry leaves, had said “This SrI rAman learned only to rule the country and to tie horses and elephants, but not reached even the beginning stage of having love”, which he says as the words of hanuman when he sees seethAp pirAtti in aSOka vanam. That is, “dhushkaram kRuthavAn rAma: heenO yadhanayA praBhu: | DhArayathyAthmanO dhEham na SokEnAvaseedhathi [SrI rAmAyaNAm – sundhara KhANdam – 15-53] (Oh this rAma has not died after separation from seethA! He is still having his body! He is doing something impossible!).
To make her sustain her life, her friend first said about emperumAn showing up for His devotees during the incarnations of rAma and krishNa. The lover girl repeats her friend’s words in the first half of ths pAsuram, and in the second part she says that those are just a show by Him on the outside, and that she is definitely going to die.
thennilangai araN sidhari avuNan mALach
chenRulagamUnRinaiyum thirindhOr thErAl
mannilangu bArathaththai mALavUrndha
varaiyuruvin mAkaLiRRaith thOzhee! enRan
ponnilangu mulaikkuvattil pUttik koNdu
pOgAmai vallEnAyp pulaviyeydhi
eppozhudhum ninaindhurugi iruppan nAnE 28
Word by word meaning
thOzhee! – Oh friend!
senRu – (He who) went (there and won, as the),
araN – forts
sidhari – got destroyed
thennilakai – in the beautiful lankA,
avuNan mALA – and also rAvaNan got destroyed;
ulagam mUnRinaiyum thirundhu – and who spanned all the three worlds by His steps (during thrivikrama avathAr),
Or thErAl Urndha – He who conducted using a chariot,
bArathaththai mALa – for everyone to be destroyed in the mahAbhAratha war
man ilangu – that was having bright presence of kings;
varai uruvin mA kaLiRRai – that is, emperumAn who is big like an elephant in form like a mountain,
pUttik koNdu – (I will) tie (Him in)
en than – my
pon ilangu mulaik kuvattil – pillars that are the bosom that are beautiful like gold,
pOgAmai vallEnAy – and become able to stop and prevent from going away,
pulavi eydhi – and go through all the sorrows in front of Him which I went through in His absence,
ennil angam ellAm vandhu inbam eydha – for all the parts of my body to come to me and become happy,
nAn – I (would)
ninaindhu – think about Him only
eppozhudhum – at all times,
urugi iruppan – and die, so I can survive by escaping from sorrows of separation.
then ilangai araN sidhari – In the next line of this pAsuram she refers to emperumAn as elephant, “varai uruvin mA kaLiRRai”; so when talking before that about the deeds of emperumAn, she talks about Him using elephant as metaphor. Destroying that beautiful fort; it is the strength of fort that looks beautiful for the brave. When thiruvadi went to lankA in search of seethAp pirAtti, seeing the strength of forts, and that of rAvaNan, he thought “With the way this fort is, only my entering it, or my father vAyu entering it would be possible. Other than that, nobody else can enter it. Even that entry would have to be in the night only and not during the day time. To such a strong fort, I am trying to bring in the princes who are delicate”, and thus felt terrible in his mind. If we look at the strength of the head of this place, he is able to win many in other places all by himself.
sidhari – Like an elephant destroying a sand castle without any effort. If it is a stone or tree then the word idari (tripped) could be used. viBheeshaNAzhvan, just only with the knowledge of hearing about valour of perumAL, had told “yadhA saikathamamBhasi [SrI rAmAyaNam – yudhDha KANdam – 16-24], that is, like how a river destroys a sand castle, you and your army are going to be destroyed in the hands of SrI rAma.
avuNan mALach cheRRu – Going there such that rAvaNan dies. rAvaNan was dead just on the walk of SrI rAma. Then it was just cutting his dead body, and breaking his sword. That is, Like how when a mad elephant walks, it would destroy everything in its path with its foot and trunk, seeing how He destroyed karan, dhUshaNan, etc., destroying vAli who had tied rAvaNan in his tail, going and staying in the sea shore and building a bridge across the ocean that was protecting lankA, reaching lankA and surrounding it, rAvaNan was dead much earlier.
Aren’t these His acts for his lover? He did not do this based on love. He did these to get the women who are powerless, so these are just a show only, she says.
ulagam mUnRinaiyum thirindhu – Spanning the seven worlds above and seven worlds below; It used the word thirindhu to imply that like how a mad elephant would roam as per its wish, He had kept His divine foot on anyone and everyone.
Not only He showed up for His lover seethAp pirAtti, He kept His divine feet on everyone including those who ignore Him due to subservience to others, or feeling independent; isn’t He of such nature? (asks her friend).
“He is an expert, you see; He would rather keep His divine feet on those who ignore Him, but not show up for those who wish to be near His divine feet as I said about me in “emperumAn thiruvadik keezh aNaiya [thirunedunthANdakam – 22]”, she replies.
Or thErAl mannilangu bArathaththai mALa Urndha – oru thErAl – Enemies had said that krishNan shall not use weapon, but they did not say that He should not do such acts as going as messenger, or driving the chariot; So, as a charioteer He destroyed using a chariot. There is no restriction for Him that using certain things He accomplish only certain things. It is said too as “kollA mAkkOl kolai seydhu [thiruvAimozhi – 3.2.3]” (~using the stick of chariot driving, He destroyed all the armies).
mannilangu bArathaththai – The bhAratha war that was led by the roaming soldiers like Bheeshma, dhrONa who were experts in chariots, and with expertise as athi-ratha, mahA-ratha.
mALavUrndha – emperumAn directing the chariot such that it is not possible to even see the dead bodies. As said in “Adiya mA-nedun thEr padai neerezhach cheRRa pirAn [thiruvAimozhi – 6.8.3]”, He drove the chariot that the enemies got ground under the wheel and got powdered.
He did all these for dhraupadhi who did not consider anyone else as Her protector, isn’t it? – asks her friend.
He did all these for the world to fall for Him by making them think, “Oh He did all these acts that are not a match for His greatness, so that a woman could tie her hair!”. He is the one who would make the hair be spread out for those like me who cannot survive without Him – she replies.
varai uruvin mA-kaLiRRAi – Him who is like an elephant having strength and pride like a mountain. Her friend’s thought is – He who is staunch in destroying the enemies of His devotees, and having pride due to happiness of accomplishing the deeds for His devotees.
thOzhee – He who is described by you as having all these greatness, is going to suffer in my hands, which you are going to see for sure, she says.
as said in “Ekam dhu:Kham suKham cha nau [SrI rAmAyaNam – kishkinthA KANdam – 5-17]” (Our happiness and sorrows are together (said SrI rAma to sugreeva)), Like rAma and sugreeva, you are together with me in happiness and sorrow, if you don’t stop me dear friend, then you will see what He undergoes in my hand – could be the meaning.
thOzhee – addressing her so, thereby requesting her not to stop what she is going to do.
enRan pon ilangu mulaik kuvattil pUttik koNdu – When there is brahmAsthram (ultimate weapon) with me, is there anyone who cannot be won by it? She says.
enRan ponnilangu mulai – Is my bosom grown only as much as it is grown for the women of this country? Is my bosom grown only as much as his bosom [Here bosom represents the counter-part for males – moustache and beard]?
ponnilangu mulai – Is my womanliness only as much His manliness? My womanliness is such that the colour of my body would pale if He separates. His manliness is that, as said in “minnilangu thiru uruvum [thirunedenthANdakam – 25]”, even when separated, His body stays bright like before. Would He become equal to me, when the coloiur of His body stays the same whether together or separated?
mulaikkuvattil pUttik koNdu – enjoining Him in the pillar that is the bosom; enjoining Him like that, is – expressing to Him her sorrow of separation.
pOgAmal-pUttik koNdu – As He tries to leave because of not getting attention from me, I shall fully express my sorrow of separation.
mulaik kuvattil pUttik koNdu – Enjoining Him in the mountain that is the bosom. He is “varai-uruvin mA-kaLiRu”(A big elephant like a mountain), so it has to be tied together with a mountain.
vallEnAy – This is the only If, she says. If I have the ability to stop Him from going away. If i get this ability, then I would do all these, she says. That is – If my mind would help me do this difficult task, is the meaning. If He comes and shows Himself to me, then my heart will fall for Him. If he does not do that; if you, my friend, would not stop me what I do, and be on my side; she is seeking her friend’s help because her friend is closer to her than her heart is.
pulavi eydhi – All the sorrows I went through, I am going to go through in front of Him; Or, all the sorrows I went through, I will make Him go through the same in front of my eyes.
ennil angam ellAm vandhu inbam eydha – At first glance, this might give the meaning of getting happiness. But the topic here is showing anger due to love; so, it means – since there is no happiness for me than dying, “I shall die in front of Him” is the meaning for this phrase. That is, “Without giving room for another separation, I shall die in front of Him”, is the thought.
ennil angam ellAm – All parts of my body which He liked and also praised when together, as, “Oh! How beautiful these eyes are! How beautiful this smile is! How beautiful this bosom is!”.
inbam eydha – die and thus get ultimate joy (because there would not be repeated separations from Him). Like how a man having a big family would drown together with His family when not able to tolerate His family’s and His hunger duringfamine, I will die along with all parts of my body, and be joyful, she says.
vandhu –(all parts of my body would come to me).Seeing the sweetness of emperumAn, various parts of her body would behave like sentient and would wish to enjoy Him, and so compete independently. Like how BharathAzhvAn and kaikEyi had had different opinions, She the mother cow, and the parts of her body which are the calves, would be eager to enjoy Him independently. I will retrieve all of these from Him, and join them in me which is their place, and we (self and the parts of the body) will die together – she says.
inbam eydha – She is saying ‘for me to attain happiness’, to imply, ‘I am going to die’. Because her suffering from separation is such, that she thinks that only dying would be paramapadham.
eppozhudum – In all states. That is – As her friend said, “You are saying these because He has not come in person. If He does, then as said in “mye-vaNNam [thirunedunthANdakam – 21]”, you would become involved with Him”, she is replying, “I would die even in that state”.
eppozhudhum – He is the owner, I am His property – even if He shows me this relationship of ours, I am still going to die, she says. This is due to her staunchness based on – “I shall not join Him and give room for another separation”.
ninaindhurugi iruppan – I would be destroyed the moment I think of Him. I will not give room for Him to come to me and say “I would not leave you; I would not survive if I leave”, and such false words like He did before; instead I would die just as I think of Him, she says, and this is due to her delicateness.
Anger of love came to nammAzhvAr in “minnidai madavAr [thiruvAimozhi – 6.2]; then when emperumAn came to her, she together with her friend, stopped Him by putting up the protection wall that is her anger of love (like how thAyAr closes the door in thiruvarangam periya kOyil during praNaya kalaha uthsavam). Then emperumAn had to show to her step by step His inability to go anywhere else, remove her anger of love, and then only get her. Instead, without giving room for that, I would die the moment I think of Him, says parakAla nAyaki.
nAnE – But this kind of delicateness is not seen anywhere else (is it possible)? – Being this delicate is my quality only, she says. “Those like parAnkuSa nAyaki would be having strength to fully execute their anger of love if they decided -‘Let me not get emperumAn to come near me if He showed up’. Unlike that, my delicateness is such that I would die the moment I think of Him”, she says.
Translation by raghurAm SrInivAsa dhAsan.
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