SrI: SrImathE SatakOpAya nama: SrImathE rAmAnujAya nama: SrImath varavaramunayE nama:
When One who made efforts to come and see you, was leaving you, could you not even say ‘do not go’? I told even that, but it became useless, she says. “One who is under your control would not listen to your words?”, periya thiruvadi (garudAzhvAn) took Him after asking “Is it appropriate to stay in a place that is not suitable for us?”, and He went, she says. Since this is the act of the protector, union is also for protection, and going away is also for protection. If our enjoyment is so high that it is unbearable, then to make us enjoy by calming down, He would separate from us and give enjoyment in small portions. She does not care about her own protection by herself, so she is longing so much to be with Him (even if it affects her due to excess happiness).
uLLUrum sindhai nOy enakke thandhu
en OLi vaLaiyum mAniRamum koNdAr ingE
theLLUrum iLam thengin thERal mAndhich
chElugaLum thiruvarangam nammUr enna
kaLLUrum painthuzhAy mAlaiyAnaik
kanavidaththil yAn kANban kaNdapOdhu
puLLUrum kaLvA nee pOgEl enban
enRAlum idhu namakkOr pulavi thAnE 23
Word by word meaning
enakkE thandhu – Creating only for me
sindhai nOy – the disease of the mind
uL Urum – that spreads inside,
ingE – in this thirumaNankollai,
koNDAr – He went away stealing
en OLi vaLaiyum – my sparkling bangles and
mAniRamum – rich colour of my body;
when He was going in that manner (He said -),
ugaLum – enjoying, becoming fat, and living happily
theLLUrum iLam thengin thERal mAndhi – by drinking the clear juice that is overflowing from young coconut tree
thiru arangam – such SrIrangam
nammUr enna – is my place – saying so He went away.
kanavu idaththil yAn – In the place that is similar to dream which is not stable,
kANban kaLLUrum painthuzhAy mAlaiyAnai – I saw emperumAn who wears thiruthuzhAy garland that is rich green with honey flowing;
kaNdapOdhu – When I saw Him so,
enban – I told,
puLLUrum kaLvA – “Oh the thief riding on garudAzhvAn,
nee pOgEl – You should not go away from me hereafter”.
enRAlum – Even though I said so,
idhu – union with emperumAn
Or pulavi thAnE namakku – would (then) create for us such longing only.
If He who owns both the worlds (nithya viBhUthi, leelA viBhUthi), and also is generous, and if you are dear and was in union with Him, what prize did He give before leaving?
uLLurum sindhai nOy enakkE thandhu – This is what He gave, she says.
uLLil nOy – What He gave is not what we could see by our eyes and treat. Only if the disease is outside could one treat it by looking with our eyes.
uLLUrum nOy – It is moving inside like a snake. Even if not visible to the eyes, if it stays in only place then it would be possible to do surgery into that and cure it. It is a disease that would not let us do that because, like insects such as cockroach, it moves around everywhere. Since it is a disease of love, it is being uncertain as to whether it would be cured by crying, or by relatives, or it would be in any specific ways.
sindhai nOy – Incurable disease; If a disease comes to people in a village, then it could be cured by a doctor; if the doctor himself gets the disease then it could not be cured by anyone. As said in “aBhiBhUyamAnA vyasanai: [SrI bhAgavatham 10-20-15]” (even if one gets caught in sorrows, those whose minds are fixed in emperumAn would live without much worry – in the same way the mountains did not move even with the battering rains), if mind is clear then one could sustain if some disease comes; but if the mind itself is having the disease (of love), then it cannot be cured.
nOy – Is it appropriate to call love towards emperumAn, which one would get only if they had done good deeds in several previous births, as a disease? – It is based on one’s state; this devotion would be a benefit requested by praying for it; when enjoying emperumAn, then the devotion would be an instrument for that enjoyment; but if one gets separated, then that devotion itself would become a disease. For those who gained the knowledge about their true nature, then this devotion would be helpful to them; for the ones separated, it would be a disease.
enakkE thandhu – Gave me the disease as my whole share (and kept happiness as His share). When the experience of togetherness is common to both, then shouldn’t the disease that is of separation also be equal?
Why say thandhu – Unlike me who is having subservience, He is having independence which does not require anyone to permit Him – so He left me giving the disease to only me.
(But) as said in “naivadhamSAn na maSakAn [SrI rAmAyaNam – sundhara KhANdam – 36-42]” (SrI rAma is not aware of the insects etc., crawling on His divine body as His thoughts were fully with seethA pirAtti), she does not know how much He too suffered.
As said in “UrDhvam mAsAn na jeevishyE [SrI rAmAyaNam – sundhara KhANdam – 38-65]” (seethA pirAtti conveying through hanUman that she would not live beyond a month if He does not come and save Her), but SrI rAmA said “na jeevEyam kShaNam api [SrI rAmAyaNam – sundhara KhANdam – 68-10]” (I would not live even for a second, separated from Her). Now His sorrow has become mine here, says parakAla nAyaki – it is due to His efforts to grow devotion in her towards Him, that she is in this state now.
enakkE thandhu – Isn’t He a noble One? Can He keep anything for Himself? He is of the nature of being “bhAkthAnAm [jithanthE 1-5]” ((All of His are) for the devotees). So He gave me (the disease)) – this sarcasm could also be the meaning of this phrase.
en oLi vaLaiyum mAniRamum koNdAr – Not only did He create disease, He also took with Him ones that would help me calm down.
en oLi vaLaiyum mAniRamum – She having the knowledge of inner meaning of true nature of self as said in “madheeyancha niKhilam thavaiva” (all my belonging are yours who is my lord), is talking about bangles and colour of the body – like those who think that the body itself is self; is it appropriate? When He was with Her, He had wondered “Oh how nice this bangle is! Oh what a brightness it got due to our being together! Oh what a great colour your form is having!”, so that is how He had enjoyed these – that is why she is talking about these. Since whatever is liked by Him would also become liked by her, she is saying bangle and colour of body as ‘mine’.
mA niRam – Best colour.
ingE – This place, thirumaNankollai, where I stayed hidden to rob Him; but this is the place I got robbed, she says. In the previous pAsuram she said “iruvarAi vandhAr”, to mean that this is the place I got the hidden treasure that is emperumAn. In this pAsuram, by “koNdAr ingE” she is saying this is the place where I lost mine to Him.
If so, when He was leaving, why let Him go without asking what His place was? I did not have to ask – to help me sustain myself, He Himself told me the name of His place, she says.
theLLUrum etc. – Drinking the honey flooding from the young coconuts, the sEl type of fish would swim around happily – such is my place, called thiruvarangam – saying so, He left.
iLam thengu – Like how the nithyars and mukthars in thiru-nAdu (SrI vaikuNtam) always stay young of age twenty-five, the plants also stay young in this place.
theLLUrum etc. – The brewing honey flowing from the coconuts would flow in the divine roads. If it did not flow then it would not be apt to say that the fish drank it. This reminds about the honey (emperumAn) that is said in “thEttarum thiRal thEninai then aranganai [perumAL thirumozhi – 2.1]”.
sEl ugaLum– Like how the mukthas live happily, the fish and other creatures are also living happily in this place (SrIrangam).
thERal mAndhich chEl ugaLum thiruvarangam – Leaving the river which is the place of their birth, those fish entered into the place of enjoyment, enjoyed honey, and stayed happy. It is only when a muktha thinks about the material world, would these fish think about the river that is their birthplace.
iLam thengu etc. – Like how nithyas give their happiness to mukthas who got rid of repeated births in material world (and entered SrIvaikuNtam), for the fish that were born in the river and entered the divine roads, the coconuts that are well set in place as plants in the divine town give their honey, and the fish drink and stay happy – such a place (SrIrangam), is our place. As He said this;
If He says ‘my place’, then it would contradict “bhAkthAnAm [jithanthE 1-5]” (His are all for the devotees). If He said ‘your place’ then since it would not be apt for her subservience, she would have replied ‘How can there be a place other than You for me”. So since saying either of these would not be apt for their true nature, He said “our place”. It is this place that creates sustenance in both of us. It is this place that makes me the lover-boy, and you the lover-girl; it is a place common to both of us, like thirumanthram (which talks about Him and the jeevAthmas). Since both of us are after each other, it is that place common to both of us.
kaLLUrum etc. – Oh friend, you did not get to see the way He came here along with the greatest garland of thiruthuzhAi, she says. Like how a lover-boy would apply punugu (civet perfume) etc., for fragrance, He decorated himself to my liking.
kaLLUrum pynthuzhAy mAlaiyAnai – Like how His place gets flooded with honey, His divine body also would undergo the same, she says. Him who is decorated by the garland of thiruththuzhAy that is having honey flowing out from its opened glands;
kaLLUrum – Compared to the place where it grew, the garland is glowing with honey after touching His divine chest.
painthuzhAy – How do you know that the garland was cool? Since He hugged me I came to know, she says.
kanavidaththil – in the place that is transient, like dreams. Transient matters are referred as ‘indhira jAlam’ (magic of a high level) and ‘dream’. In this transient place, she is present, and He who is enjoyed is also present. But since this place and body are transient, the experience they undergo is also transient. (That is why one is having to go to paramapadham that is stable).
kanavidaththil – Or, by dream it can mean – the transient nature of their togetherness here. When it has been a long time something was experienced, one would say, it seems like only a dream.
yAn kANban – I experienced (in/like a dream). I who cannot sustain by any means other than Him – experienced. There is no shortfall in my love towards Him, and experience of Him.
If there is no shortfall of experience, then He would be under your control only. So you could have just told one word to Him – Don’t go – and you would have stopped Him – says her friend. I did that too, she says.
kaNda pOdhu – At the time of enjoying with Him –
puLLUrum kaLvA – Oh deceiver who is having garuda as His ride! Hiding garudan nearby without my knowledge, and coming here and getting me, He at the time of leaving me, climbed on that garudan and left. Oh the deceiver, who thought that the speed of garudan was not enough and so drove him faster, like driving a non-sentient chariot. If when He came, He used only the bow as His companion, what is it about periya thiruvadi (garudan) coming, and about taking Him away? If kings came in secret to meet their lovers, it is customary for their ministers to locate Him and take Him back. In the same way, garudan came and took Him away.
puLLUrum kaLvA – periya thiruvadi asked – If what you came here for is fulfilled, then shall you not come with me – and He climbed on him and went away, she says.
puLLUrum – like saying – He drove a chariot. That is, treating periya thiruvadi like a non-sentient chariot is how His impulse to leave was. (About His going away when periya thiruvadi asked Him to) – To the nithyasUris, He is like a prince who is under the control of elder ministers; He is a thathvam that is nourished under the wings of periya thiruvadi, in the lap of thiruvananthAzhvAn, controlled by the ruling stick of sEnai mudhaliyAr, and under the sight of periya pirAtti – so He cannot do whatever He wished. He is “vAn iLavarasu [periyAzhvAr thirumozhi 3.6.3]”
nee pOgEl enban – Have you not seen yourself (your beauty) in the mirror? If I leave then she would not be able to tolerate that separation – do you not have to be in this state?
nee pOgEl – Either taking me with you, or staying here with me – other than these options, would you decide to leave by yourself?
enban – I said words of no use. I did not says words that match His true nature of being in utmost love toward me, nor did I say words that match my true nature of being patient for Him to come to me like seethA pirAtti who said ‘thath thasya madRuSam BhavEth [SrI rAmAyaNam – sundhara KhANdam – 30-30 (if He would win them and take me back, that would be suitable for Him), nor did I say words that would give the desired result (since He would not listen even if I tried to stop Him from going).
enRAlum – even though I uttered words that do not suit the true nature of either of us,
idhu namakkOr pulavi thAnE – pulavi – sadness. The union with emperumAn became the reason for suffering due to separation. I did not address His true nature, did not address my true nature, did not get what I wanted. By this – only sadness remained, she says.
namakku – He left happily after getting what He liked; only sadness resulted for me.
thAnE – The reason for happiness of those who worship Him, became the reason for my sadness, she says.
Or pulavi – unparalleled sorrow. Since it occurred due to not considering the true nature of either of us, and also because of sadness due to separation, this sorrow is doubled and so is unparalleled – she says.
Translation by raghurAm SrInivAsa dhAsan.
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