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SrI:  SrImathE SatakOpAya nama:  SrImathE rAmAnujAya nama:  SrImath varavaramunayE nama:

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avathArikai (Introduction)

emperumAn lives in the minds of chEthanas (sentient entities). Since the mind is the gateway through which our knowledge emerges, emperumAn knows all our faults. AzhwAr feels ashamed that he, being a liar, had caused blemish to the omniscient emperumAn by approaching him. What a terrible deed have I done, exclaims AzhwAr. “Instead of bringing blemish to emperumAn, I could have stayed with samsAris (dwellers of materialistic realm), who are ignorant of my faults” says the AzhwAr, “and it would be better even if I were to die, instead of causing harm to emperumAn”. Saying so, AzhwAr leaves the divine feet of emperumAn in which he had such a strong desire.

Let us look at the pAsuram and its meanings.

உள்ளத்தே உறையும் மாலை  உள்ளுவான்  உணர்வு ஒன்று இல்லாக்
கள்ளத்தேன் நானும் தொண்டாய்த் தொண்டுக்கே கோலம் பூண்டு
உள்ளுவார் உள்ளிற்று எல்லாம் உடன் இருந்து அறிதியென்று
வெள்கிப்போய் என்னுள்ளே நான் விலவறச் சிரித்திட்டேனே.

uLLaththE uRaiyum mAlai uLLuvAn uNarvu onRu illAk
kaLLaththEn nAnum thoNdAyth thoNdukkE kOlam pUNdu
uLLuvAr uLLiRRU ellAm udan irundhu aRithiyenRu
veLgippOy ennuLLE nAn vilavaRach chiriththittEnE

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Word by word meanings

uLLaththE – inside the heart [mind]
uRaiyum – dwelling (constantly)
mAlai – emperumAn, who is omniscient
uLLuvAn uNarvu – the knowledge to meditate upon
onRu illA – without even a little bit
kaLLaththEn nAnum – I, the thief
thoNdu Ay – being subservient to you
thoNdukkE kOlam pUNdu – putting on an act of being subservient
uLLuvAr uLLiRRu ellAm – the thoughts of those who are thinking
udan irundhu – being together with
aRidhi enRu – (knowing) that you know
ennuLLE – within myself
nAn – I
veLgi – being ashamed
pOy – leaving (you)
vilavu aRa – such that the rib will break
siriththittEn – I laughed.

vyAkhyAnam (Commentary)

uLLaththE – emperumAn dwells in the heart which is the spring-board for thoughts. If he were to dwell outside, he would not know anything other than whatever the eye sees. The opinion here is that since he dwells inside, it is not possible to deceive him.

uRaiyum – dwelling in the heart constantly. If he were to go out for a little while, one can behave in whichever way one wanted. But since he dwells constantly in the heart,  even that is not possible, is the opinion here.

mAlai – one who is greater than everyone else. Even though jIvAthmA dwells inside, he will not know everything which is inside. Even though cosmos pervades everything, it does not control everything that it pervades. The opinion here is that since emperumAn knows everything and controls everything, it is well nigh impossible to deceive him.

uLLuvAn uNarvu illA – without the knowledge to meditate that he resides inside me as antharyAmi (indwelling soul).  uNarvu onRu illA – it is not that there is no knowledge about paramAthmA (emperumAn); there is  no knowledge about jIvAthmA too [jIvAthmA is the soul that takes up a body and controls it]. Knowledge about self [jIvAthmA] is a prerequisite for knowledge about paramAthmA who dwells inside the jIvAthmA. onRillA – there is no knowledge about jIvAthmA. Subsequently there is no knowledge about paramAthmA. There is no knowledge about the nature of the body – “this body is very lowly; it is transient; it is different from jIvAthmA; jIvAthmA is there only to carry out kainkaryam (servitude) to paramAthmA” etc.

kaLLaththEn – I am such a thief that I put on an act to make other people not think that I do not have any knowledge. In an assembly of fools I will cheat them by saying “there is no fault in me known to myself” and in an assembly of learned people I will cheat them by saying “there is nothing good in me as known to my antharAthmA (the indwelling soul)” by putting on an act of being lowly. Thus, the learned people will think “he thinks so lowly of himself. Surely he will have very good knowledge about AthmA  as well as of paramAthmA”. Despite being the repository of all vices, I made everyone believe, in this way, that I did not have any vice. I indulged in all these acts of chicanery even while knowing that you [emperumAn] are there as a witness.

nAnum  thoNdAy – I, without having any of the good qualities, did not carry out the act of servitude that people, with knowledge of themselves, should do. Who should carry out the servitude of whom? SrI rAmAyaNam ayOdhyA kANdam 17.14 says “yaScha rAmam na paSyEththu yancha rAmO na paSyathi I nindhitha: sa vasEllOkE svAthmApyEnam vigarhathE II” (one who has not seen rAma, one who has not been seen by rAma, he lives, despised by the worldly people. His AthmA will also despise such a person). If a chaNdALa (one born in a very low caste) were to learn vEdhas, wouldn’t  the people of the world despise him? In the same way, AzhwAr despises himself, saying that he was trying to carry out kainkaryam which should be carried out by good people.

thoNdukkE kOlam pUNdu – not only did I carry out acts of deceit on you, I also made those who had very good qualities to bow down to me by indulging in falsified acts and earning good name. I wear the 12 Urdhva puNdrams [the marks worn by SrIvaishNavas on their bodies to indicate their subservience to emperumAn]; I don the five divine weapons on my body; I recite your divine names such as “achyudhA amararERE Ayar tham kozhundhE” (pAsuram 2) from the lips instead of with full, deep belief; I sing about your sweetness by saying “ichchuvai thavaira achchuvai peRinum vENdEn” (pAsuram 2); I claim that I placed my feet on the head of yamadharmarAja and his clan by singing “nAvalittu uzhi tharuginROm naman thamar thalaigaL mIdhE” and bewilder people; I counsel others thinking of myself as a learned man. How much have I done like this? How much have I babbled like this?

uLLuvAr uLLiRRellAm udan irundhu aRidhi enRu – I understood that he [emperumAn] knows every thought that one thinks of, as he dwells constantly inside the heart which is the source for thoughts to emerge. It is pertinent here to think of the words spoken by SakunthalA to dhushyantha. SakunthalA vAkhyam (bhAratham 38.29) says “EkO’hamasmIthi cha manyasE thvam na hruchchayam vEthsi munim purANam I yO vEdhithA karmaNa: pApakasya thyAnthikE thvam vrujinam karOshi II” ([Oh dhushyantha maharAja !] you think “only I am there”. You do not realise that bhagavAn, the Adhipurusha [the first entity] is dwelling constantly in the heart . You are carrying out sinful deeds at the proximity of one who knows of such sinful deeds). AzhwAr suggests here that he was indulging in improper deeds even when emperumAn, who is omniscient and who controls everything, dwells in his heart.

veLgip pOy – AzhwAr feels ahamed after realising his deceitful nature, emperumAn’s omniscience and his dwelling constantly in his heart. pOy – Once he felt ashamed, he could not stand in the presence of emperumAn, with bowed head, and leaves his presence. If one were ashamed of something, he would leave from that place and go to a place where it is not present. Without the thought that there is not a place where emperumAn is not present, AzhwAr searches for such a place.

ennuLLE nAn – samsAris cannot join hands with him for laughing off his act of foolishness, as they are totally ignorant. emperumAn also will not join him in his laughter as AzhwAr wanted to leave the presence of emperumAn. Hence AzhwAr has to laugh all by himself. Since there was none to join him in this act of laughing and since he realised his foolishness, he himself became his supporter for laughing.

vilavaRach chiriththittEnE – He laughed so much that his ribs broke, says AzhwAr. Since the deed that he carried out [of finding a place which did not have emperumAn’s presence] was in the forefront of all foolish acts, there was no limit to his laughter too. His act of trying to leave emperumAn’s presence is like a person who, wishing to commit suicide by jumping into fire, eats betel leaves and decorates himself with flowers before he jumps and he laughs at that. When arjuna heard the other paths to attain bhagavAn, before krishNa spoke to him about charama SlOkam, arjuna felt disheartened because the other paths were so very difficult to practice. He waited with the hope that krishNa would offer a solution to this. AzhwAr, since he thought that he should not approach emperumAn any more, decides to leave him without any desire. He tries to leave the presence of emperumAn, laughing to himself, just as a person, deciding to jump into fire, takes betel leaves and decorates himself with flowers.

We shall move on to the 35^th pAsuram.

adiyEn krishNa ramanuja dhAsan

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SrI:  SrImathE SatakOpAya nama:  SrImathE rAmAnujAya nama:  SrImath varavaramunayE nama:

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avathArikai (Introduction)

Until now, in the last eight pAsurams, AzhwAr has said that he does not have any virtue in him and that he has all the vices too and that he does not bode well for emperumAn. He emphasises the same in this pAsuram too. emperumAn, on hearing his statement in the previous pAsuram that he, despite being a fool, had come to emperumAn, asks him “if this statement of yours (of being an ignorant, foolish person) came from your heart, I shall take this as accepting your state of being without anything in your hands and try to redeem you. Was the statement that you are a fool said by you sincerely?” to which AzhwAr responds, “even that is a lie”. emperumAn asks “If there is nothing in you as a means to attain me, how do I redeem you”  and AzhwAr says “is there any means other than the connection with your divine feet and your causeless mercy?”, mentioning the ultimate means for attaining emperumAn.

Let us enjoy the pAsuram and its meanings, first.

மெய்யெலாம் போகவிட்டு விரி குழலாரில் பட்டு
பொய்யெலாம் பொதிந்து கொண்ட போட்கனேன் வந்து நின்றேன்
ஐயனே அரங்கனே உன் அருள் என்னும் ஆசை தன்னால்
பொய்யனேன் வந்து நின்றேன் பொய்யனேன் பொய்யனேனே

meyyellAm pOgavittu viri kuzhalAril pattup
poyyellAm podhindhu koNda pOtkanEn vandhu ninREn
aiyanE! aranganE! un aruL ennum Asai thannAl
poyyanEn vandhu ninREn poyyanEn poyyanEnE

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Word-by-word meaning

aiyanE – Oh Lord!
aranganE – the dweller of thiruvarangam (SrIrangam)!
mey ellAm – all the true means or entities (thought, word and deed)
pOgavittu – giving them up totally
viri kuzhalAril – in the net of women with well spread locks of hair
pattu – being caught
poy ellAm – different types of lies
podhindhu koNdu – holding to the brim
pOtkanEn – I, without any place to go
un aruL ennum Asai thannAl – out of the desire kindled by your grace
vandhu ninREn , poyyanEn, poyyanEn, poyyanEn – through the three means (of thought, word and action), I stood in front of you, as a liar
vandhu ninREn – I stood in front you, the omniscient.

vyAkhyAnam (commentary)

meyyellAm – mey (truth) is something which leads to good for all jIvAthmAs, and describes things as they are [without adding or removing anything]. Truth is the basis on which AzhwAr had said in the earlier pAsurams the good things that he did not have. In kaiSika mahAthmyam 32 nampAduvAn says “sathyamUlamitham sarvam lOka:sathyE prathishtitha: I nAham mithyA pravakshyAmi sathyamEva vadhAmyaham  II” (it was through sathyam (truth) that all these worlds came about; the world sustains on truth; (hence) I will not speak lie; (always) I will speak the truth). Because he had a bit of involvement with emperumAn, nampAduvAn, despite being born in a lowly caste and carrying out the deeds of that caste, told the brahmarAkshas (a demon) that came to eat him “those who are involved with emperumAn will not tell lies”. ellAm – since truth is of different types, AzhwAr says all types. In other words, thinking of something, as it is, speaking it, as it is, and doing it, as it is. The opinion here is that he does not have any of these truths in him. Alternatively, some people will speak truth to their relatives and lies to others; he implies that he does not speak truth even to his relatives.

pOgavittu – I got rid of these truths to such an extent that they did not even find a place in the country that I live in. If I speak truth to my relatives, a trace of that would be with me; I did not do even this. Since samsAris are ignorant, it is possible to speak lies to them and manage; but I spoke lies even to you, who is omniscient, laments the AzhwAr.

When emperumAn asks him as to where he learnt to speak such lies . . . .

viri kuzhalAril pattu – I moved with women, says AzhwAr. The meaning implied here is that just as it is impossible for someone to speak lies when he is close to emperumAn, it is impossible to speak truth when someone is with women. Is it not rare for someone who speaks truth to be in the company of women? virikuzhalAril – if the lady had done up her hair, the man would exclaim “how beautiful it is! How well the garland has been strung around the hair!” And, if the lady had let loose her hair, he would exclaim “what can I say about the beauty of the hair let loose, like a peacock spreads its wings!” Just as nammAzhwAr says in thiruvAimozhi 5.10.2 “adhu idhu udhu ennalAvana alla ennai un seygai naivikkum” (if one thinks of the playful activities of emperumAn he would be totally involved and lose himself in emperumAn), the person engages with women in the same way that a sAthvika (purely good) person engages with emperumAn.  pattu  – just as a fish trapped by a net cannot extricate itself, a person who gets trapped by women also cannot extricate himself. The extent to which he is trapped can be gauged from the fact that even when AchAryan (teacher) shows him the beauty of emperumAn’s thirumEni through his upadhESam (spiritual teaching), the disciple’s heart keeps thinking of the women who are sweet to him.

poyyellAm podhindhukoNda – just as he got rid of all the truths, he accumulated gradually, all the lies. AzhwAr shows that just as involvement with emperumAn would make liars to speak truth, involvement with women will make those who speak truth, to speak lies. ellAm – just as truths are of different kinds, lies are also of many types and hence he uses the word ellAm (all). He has accumulated whatever goes by the name of “lie”. podhindhu koNda – AzhwAr says that he made sure that none of the lies that he accumulated, left him. He says that he is the wholesale merchant for lies so that if someone wants to tell a lie to his lady, he would approach AzhwAr. He made sure that none of the lies escaped from his clutches.

pOtkanEn vandhu ninREn – if I think of my lowliness, I would step back saying “only those who speak truth can approach emperumAn. A liar like me should not approach him”. Since I had no other place to go to, rather shamelessly, I came and stood in front of your divine presence. ninREn – just as those who carried out certain tasks as means to attain emperumAn [such as karma yOgam, gyAna yOgam, bhakthi yOgam] stand at the doorstep of emperumAn to collect their benefit, like a servant stands for his salary, I too stood like them. pOtkanEn – one without a refuge.

emperumAn asks him “I am approached by those good people who are able to control both their external and internal sensory organs. Why are you coming to me? Why don’t you go to those women with spread locks?” . . . .

aiyanE – Since I have a natural relationship with you which cannot be severed, I came. Even children, who have caused harms to their parents, approach them through the backdoor. I have such a relationship with you.

aranganE – emperumAn asks him “was it through SAsthras (sacred texts) or through AchAryan’s upadhESam (teaching of a guru) that you came to know of this relationship?”  AzhwAr responds “it was not through these, but because you came to thiruvarangam to take rest, that I came to know” How is this possible?  emperurAn, not considering the superiority of SrIvaikuNtam, came down to samsAram, knowing very well that it is inhabited by those who hate him, only to ensure that samsAris are redeemed. That the samsAris are people who are not detested by him is clear from the way he is lying at SrIrangam after taking a vow that he will not leave this samsAram until it is fully uprooted [and shifted to SrIvaikuNtam].

emperumAn asks AzhwAr “what is it that you want from me?” . . . .

un aruL ennum Asai thannAl – vandhu ninREn – My desire is that I should get your grace; hence I came. His grace is such that even those who have harmed themselves to such an extent that they will get ruined, can desire for it. In SrI rAmAyaNam yudhdha kANdam 38.95, vAlmIki says “satham nipathitham bhUmau saraNya: saraNAgatham I vadhArhamapi kAkuthsa: krupyA paryapAlayath II” (even though kAkAsuran, who fell to the ground and surrendered, deserved to be killed, SrI rAma, through his grace, saved him, as he is the refuge).

emperumAn says “I am waiting for persons like you who do not have anything good in them and who have all the vices in them and who know the relationship between themselves and me. Isn’t it true that you have come after realising this?” . . . .

poyyanEn – AzhwAr responds “if I look at it deeply, even this appears to be false. Can there be anything that I can claim as truth in front of you, who is omniscient?”.

poyyanEn – there is nothing that I do not have which is called as vice. I said this because, ahirbhudhnya samhithai 37.30 says “ahamasmyaparAdhAnAmAlayO’kinchanO’gathi: I thvamEvOpAyabhUthO mEbhavEthi prArthanAmathi: II SaraNAgathirithyukthA sA dhEvE’smin prayujyathAm II” (“I am repository of all vices; I do not have any means (to protect myself); I do not have a refuge (other than you); you have to be my means” – SaraNAgathi is the thought that prays like this. Let this be carried out in the matter of this bhagavAn). SAsthras say that if one says like this in your divine presence, it will yield benefit. Hence I said that, says AzhwAr. I did not say it because my lowliness hit me.

poyannEnE – I said this lie to you, who is omniscient by nature, such that even you were deluded into believing as truth what I said as lie. Thinking of the lies that he had said in the earlier pAsurams such as “Adharam peruga vaiththa azhagan” (16), “kaNNiNai kaLikkumARE” (17), “paniyarumbu udhirumAlO” (18), “udal enakku urugumAlO” (19), AzhwAr says “poyyanEn poyyanEnE” . How many lies can I say in your divine presence, where I should be speaking only truth?

Let us move on to pAsuram 34, next.

adiyEn krishNa ramanuja dhAsan

archived in http://divyaprabandham.koyil.org

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SrIvaishNava education/kids portal – http://pillai.koyil.org